dwarzel

The folks behind the venerable Uncle John's Bathroom Reader franchise have gone literary: their latest offering is Flush Fiction, a collection of dozens--literally dozens, I tell you--of short stories. From the publisher:

"Prepare to be entertained by this unique collection of short-short stories–all fewer than 1,000 words–handpicked by the master story-teller himself, Uncle John. Whatever genre you’re into–humor, mystery, romance, horror, adventure, sci-fi, or slice-of-life–it’s in here."

Flush Fiction contains my dryly humorous science fiction story "Wrestling with Alienation", but if that isn't enough to entice you, go here to see the entire list of contributors.

Even better: the kind staff of the Bathroom Readers' Institute have graciously allowed me to offer a free copy to one lucky person. So, how shall we go about this?

• For simplicity's sake, let's set the deadline at April 30, 2012 at 11:59:59 Eastern Time.
• Residents of the U.S.A. only, please.
• One entry per person, please.
• I will gather all eligible entries and select one completely at random under the auspices of random.org.
• If you know me personally, feel free to enter anyway. You'll have the same chance as everyone else; I don't see why my friendship should carry any more penalties for you than it already does.
• Flush Fiction boasts a lot of contributors, so there's a chance you'll run across other giveaways of the book; if you should win one of those before my giveaway reaches its deadline, kindly let me know so I can remove you from the running. One freebie to a customer, please.
• How to enter? Simply leave a comment below (if you're smart, you'll either leave me an email address in some form or be the sort of person who checks your livejournal messages, because once I notify the winner, he or she has forty-eight hours to acknowledge me and supply a shipping address). And, just to separate the deserving people who read the rules from the undeserving who don't, your comment, in order to constitute a valid entry, must answer the following question: "What is your favorite short story?" Answer honestly if possible; if you can't decide, or can't think of a favorite, then just name a short story. It's not as if I'll know the difference. In the name of fair play, I'll go first: "Unaccompanied Sonata" by Orson Scott Card.
• Comments screened for your safety and security--nobody will see your info.
• Good luck.

I had the privilege to receive gratis the latest issue (January/February 2012) of the venerable Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction. I don't ordinarily review things; the Web is practically constructed out of unsolicited opinion, and it will hardly suffer for want of my particular contribution. But this is more like repayment of a favor; they were nice enough to send me a copy of a magazine I can't usually find, owing to the absence of bookstores where I live (Walmart is okay if I'm looking for the latest Stuart Woods opus, or if I want to leaf through Pro Wrestling Illustrated while I'm waiting for my new tires, but for anything deeper than that, it's necessary to look elsewhere).

(It's easy to complain about Amazon and its ilk when you actually have bookstores in your town--or even in your county--but for those of us who don't, for whom a book-shopping outing involves hours of driving, Amazon doesn't look so bad.)

Yes, yes, I know: why don't I subscribe? I will. Or maybe not. I don't know. I'm sure that on my deathbed I'll lie there regretting that I didn't subscribe to more magazines. On with the show.

"Small Towns" by Felicity Shoulders. Shoulders's major publications to date have been in Asimov's; this is, I believe, her debut in F&SF. Likewise, it is my first encounter with her work (she already gets major kudos from me, before I've even read the piece, for having the greatest name in all of speculative fiction). In "Small Towns", a French toymaker, aghast at the post-WW1 tendency to rebuild everything "bigger and better", builds a tiny model of his village the way it used to be. But he wasn't expecting someone to move in…

"Books to Look For". The estimable Charles de Lint performs his usual public service, reviewing several books that may have escaped the notice of the average reader (they certainly got by me).

"Books." Elizabeth Hand provides a survey of the major vampire, and vampire-ish, literature, as a preface to reviews of Vintage Vampire Stories (ed. Eighteen-Bisang/Dalby), The President's Vampire (Farnsworth), and the new reissue of 1996's Brand New Cherry Flavor (Grimson).

"The Comfort of Strangers" by Alexander Jablokov: Probably the best story about a far-future, sexually-ambiguous, multispecies prostitute I've read all year. It's more about the ideas than the plot; highly imaginative, with a lot packed into its few pages. A warning, though: once you read it, you can't un-read it.

"The Secret of the City of Gold" by Ron Goulart. Goulart revisits the character of Harry Challenge, late of 1984's The Prisoner of Blackwood Castle and 1987's The Curse of the Obelisk, two books that I have not read but may seek out after reading this tale. It's 1901, and London is being terrorized by were-jaguars. An expedition to Central America uncovers a secret man was not meant to know; now, people have gone missing and expedition members are being murdered.

"Maxwell's Demon" by Ken Liu. I had the honor of sharing a table of contents with Mr. Liu in 2010. This is no longer the exclusive society it once was, as he's selling stories these days at a dismayingly fast rate; about one every three days, it sometimes seems (I can't imagine how he does it, or where he finds the time; have they secretly brought back the patronage system?). In "Maxwell's Demon", set during World War II, a Japanese-American scientist is sent to Japan to infiltrate its corps of military engineers. Her Japanese minder puts her to work, not in her capacity as a scientist, but as an Okinawan shaman; she is to entice restless spirits to sort molecules in a real-life application of the famous thought experiment. Liu tells his story with powerful, captivating imagery. If the tale is hampered by anything at all, it's the passivity of the protagonist, who spends the whole story in the power of one cardboard villain after another (it's entirely likely that this is deliberate).

"Plumage from Pegasus: Judge, Jury, and Lexecutioner" by Paul Di Filippo. Mr. Di Filippo's usual wackiness; here, a look at the role of the reader in literature. He's sawed off his shotgun's barrel and scattered his shots widely.

"Scrap Dragon" by Naomi Kritzer. The narrator tells a fairy tale, which is shaped by the interruptions of the world's most tiresome child. Read it for the wonderfully original tale, and to find out why we used to send children to work in mines.

"Umbrella Men" by John G. McDaid. A magic umbrella spreads peace in its vicinity (though it's oddly selective in its effects). From the stilted political mini-speeches that pass for dialogue (so there's no ambiguity as to who's on the Right Side), to white people as seething racist beasts who are only prevented from assaulting their neighbors by the aforementioned umbrellas (though presumably not all white people--doubtless McDaid sees himself as One of the Good Ones), to the opening quotation from Condoleezza Rice, which I think is meant to be damning but whose relevance to the story is not obvious on first reading (and for which the author could not be bothered to spell Ms. Rice's name correctly--why do you hate black people, Mr. McDaid?), "Umbrella Men" serves best as a cautionary tale for writers who are convinced that their own politically-oriented stories are going unpublished because The Man doesn't want you to read them. It may be instead that the actually "story" is slight, or even nonexistent. Right or left, it's possible to write good political SF, but it's not easy. (Also, let's have no more science fiction stories about how great science fiction is, shall we?)

"In the Trenches" by Michael Alexander. We're back to WW1 again; a Frenchman and a German are trapped underground and fall under the care of a kobold. Then they have a decision to make. Is immortality worth surrendering your passions? Though the concluding image blunts it somewhat, these days the idea that something worth living for is also worth fighting and dying for is well-nigh subversive.

"It's a Small (Sick) World." Kathi Maio on plague movies.

"Alien Land" by K. D. Wentworth. I've had the honor of personal, written communication from Ms. Wentworth in her capacity as Coordinating Judge of the famed Writers of the Future contest. I can report she is very insightful. Nota bene: I also enjoyed The Imperium Game very much. "Alien Land," though, is a bit of a disappointment: a pat morality tale in which space aliens stand in for illegal aliens. Further, it's an example of what the folks at TV Tropes call a "Space Whale Aesop": in this case, the moral is "be nice to Mexicans, because they might have magical dream-powers."

"Canto MCML" by Lewis Shiner. A brief piece that's short on detail but long on imagery. A man's place in a serene enclave is threatened by a troublemaker; it's implied that, outside the enclave, things have gone Very Wrong.

"Amazing Science Stories." Pat Murphy and Paul Doherty on atoms and strings and whatnot.

"Mindbender" by Albert E. Cowdrey. The feds provide a hiding place for a defecting Russian psychic in a small rural town. Hilariously, he seems to really like it there. I could have done without the parade of rural stereotypes, but my understanding of Mr. Cowdrey's background and previous work makes me think that he honestly believes he's being respectful. Still, a country sheriff with a name like "Buford Hicks" doesn't really belong in any story except the broadest of satires, which "Mindbender" is not.

"The Color Least Used by Nature" by Ted Kosmatka. Traditional ways of life on a Pacific island are gradually eradicated through generations of contact with outsiders. I enjoyed the setting and, in particular, the mythology. In fact, I would have liked to see a more "pure" story set entirely within that mythology; in the same way that the traditions of Kuwa'i's people are diluted by outside influences, Kosmatka's story is diminished by his falling back on an "invasion of paradise" plot we've seen a hundred times before, and by which we are meant to feel guilty for preferring civilization to barbarism. Still, there's no denying the story's power, and it's an appropriate, if melancholy, way of closing out this issue.

And that, as they say, is that. Did I enjoy it? Indeed, I did. As it turns out, I've devoted the most space to the stories I enjoyed the least; it's easier to come up with complaints and smart remarks than it is to find original ways of praising things you like. But that doesn't mean it wasn't good overall. My particular favorites were "Maxwell's Demon" (Liu), "Small Towns" (Shoulders), "In the Trenches" (Alexander), and "Scrap Dragon" (Kritzer), in approximately that order.

There were a couple of themes wending their way through this issue: history (various kinds, with enough WW1/WW2/Cold War stories to make me wonder if a pending anthology on those themes has just made its final cuts); and secondary to that, a vague notion of social consciousness (some of it subtle and well-done, some of it actually subordinating the story in the service of making sure we know the author holds all the proper opinions). I'm conflicted about this; I think people read magazines for variety, with stories grouped by theme best left to other venues. And yet there's something about unity that satisfies the soul…

In any case: thumbs up.

Stuff I read in 2011, presented, as usual, without comment or apology:

Sir Apropos of Nothing by Peter David
The Third Force by Marc Laidlaw
The Woad to Wuin by Peter David
The Picture of Dorian Gray and Other Stories by Oscar Wilde
Tong Lashing by Peter David
A Choice of Gods by Clifford D. Simak
The Elvenbane by Andre Norton and Mercedes Lackey
Full Spectrum 2 edited by Lou Aronica, Shawna McCarthy, Amy Stout, and Patrick LoBrutto
Elvenblood by Andre Norton and Mercedes Lackey
New Grub Street by George Gissing
Elvenborn by Andre Norton and Mercedes Lackey
Parliament of Whores by P. J. O'Rourke
Refugee by Piers Anthony
Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
Mercenary by Piers Anthony
Maps in a Mirror by Orson Scott Card
Here Comes Civilization by William Tenn
Politician by Piers Anthony
Sporty Spec: Games of the Fantastic edited by Karen A. Romanko
Executive by Piers Anthony
House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski
Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House by Eric Hodgins
Skulls by Tim Marquitz
Statesman by Piers Anthony
A Secret History of Time to Come by Robie Macauley
The Fires of Paratime by L. E. Modesitt, Jr.
The Mammoth Book of Short Horror Novels edited by Mike Ashley
Timediver's Dawn by L. E. Modesitt, Jr.
The Best from Fantasy and Science Fiction: Fourteenth Series edited by Avram Davidson
Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire
Dark Forces edited by Kirby McCauley
A Lion Among Men by Gregory Maguire
The Treasure of the Sierra Madre by B. Traven
The Waterworks by E. L. Doctorow
Whipping Star by Frank Herbert
The Accidental Time Machine by Joe Haldeman
The Dosadi Experiment by Frank Herbert
Shoeless Joe by W. P. Kinsella
The Alchemists by Geary Gravel
Elsewhere Vol. III edited by Terri Windling and Mark Alan Arnold
Greybeard by Brian Aldiss
The Pathfinders by Geary Gravel
Pretender by Piers Anthony and Frances Hall
The Broken Blade by Simon Hawke
The Willing Spirit by Piers Anthony and Alfred Tella
Cinnabar Shadows by Lynn Abbey
All the Way to the Gallows by David Drake
The Year's Best Horror Stories: XIV edited by Karl Edward Wagner
The Rise and Fall of a Dragon King by Lynn Abbey
Why I Left Harry's All Night Hamburgers edited by Sheila Williams and Charles Ardai
Hokas Pokas! by Poul Anderson and Gordon R. Dickson
The Psychotechnic League by Poul Anderson
Downward to the Earth by Robert Silverberg
Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain
Cold Victory by Poul Anderson
Passion Play by Sean Stewart
True Grit by Charles Portis
Starship by Poul Anderson
Steamy Screams edited by Jack Burton
The Year's Best Science Fiction: Nineteenth Annual Collection edited by Gardner Dozois
Virgin Planet and Star Ways by Poul Anderson
Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman
Return to Lankhmar by Fritz Leiber
The Ascent of Wonder edited by David G. Hartwell and Kathryn Cramer
The Selected Works of T. S. Spivet by Reif Larsen